FIRST IMPRESSION SKIN
“The skin is much paler, which is often a signal for sickness you have shadows under the eyes the corners of the mouth are slightly turned downward,” he says.Īnd multiple studies suggest that skimping on shut-eye can lead others to perceive you as less attractive, less smart, more depressed and less healthy. When you’re sleep-deprived, you appear different, Todorov says. For example, making someone feel appreciated, finding a point of commonality to bond over or sharing something interesting you’ve learned can all improve how you’re received, Demarais says. Taking the focus off of yourself and putting it on someone else can help others perceive you in a better light. “People always remember how you made them feel,” she says. But experts say we should pay more attention to those around us. In new situations, we tend to notice how we’re feeling instead of how others are feeling, Demarais points out. You’re likely to find something you both connect with.
If you’re operating from a blank slate, start with your shared environment-like commenting on the weather or something you notice in your surroundings, then move to facts-like the reason you’re gathering or a recent news story, says Demarais. “We tend to like people who are a little bit similar to us,” says Zayas. Asking observant questions like, “Does this person have an accent?” or “Is he or she wearing something you recognize?” can help foster an instant connection. People who have an easy time connecting with others often find common ground with someone else in just a few seconds, says Boothman. You’ll find your attitude and expression will instantly adjust, he says. If you’re nervous, say something silly to yourself before you walk into a room. If you’re having a hard time with the attitude adjustment, try thinking back to a time when you felt enthusiastic or resourceful to get your mind into a better place, Boothman suggests. This will project a warm, open and positive impression. You can create a useful attitude by smiling at someone, making eye contact long enough to notice the color of that person’s eyes, or sitting without crossing your arms or legs, says Boothman. A useless one is acting bored, rude or hostile. A useful attitude is welcoming, curious and enthusiastic. Instead of thinking of attitudes as good or bad, think about them as useful or useless, Boothman suggests. “On a very deep level, if someone is frowning or looks threatening, we register that as ‘Watch out.’”
“We sort of scan the world for threats, and facial expressions are really primarily processed,” says Ann Demarais, founder of First Impressions, a New York-based coaching and consulting company. Alternatively, if you’re having a bad day, you might appear unapproachable. If you’re having a good day, you probably look happy and people might be more likely to form a positive impression of you, Todorov says.
FIRST IMPRESSION HOW TO
“As social beings, we use everything available to make sense of a person that we’re meeting for the first time,” says Zayas.Īnd while a firm handshake and a small smile might fit the bill for a third-round meeting with the boss, matching someone’s pondering posture at an art gallery and commenting on the artwork might be appropriate if you’re trying to start casual conversation in that setting, says Nicholas Boothman, author of How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less.
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